Every Thriller Reader Needs an Amateur Detective Starter Kit

By Maria Antokas

Before there was Veronica Mars, before there was Jessica Fletcher, and long before I was devouring mystery and thriller novels, there was Honey West.

When I was young, I thought Honey West was the coolest woman on television. She was a private detective, she had a pet tiger named Bruce, and she had a signature beauty mark that I was so fascinated by that I used to draw one on my own face with a black pen.

Looking back, there may have been clues that I was destined to become a mystery reader.

While other kids were pretending to be movie stars, I was apparently preparing for a career in fictional crime solving.

These days, my detective work is mostly limited to trying to figure out who the killer is before the author reveals it. Like many thriller readers, I’m convinced I can solve the mystery right up until the moment I discover I’ve been spectacularly wrong.

Still, every mystery lover needs a few tools. So, in honor of Honey West and every fictional detective who convinced us we were one clue away from cracking the case, here’s my completely unofficial starter kit for solving a murder-without actually solving a murder.


1. Detective’s Notebook

Every investigator needs somewhere to record suspicious behavior, questionable alibis, and wildly inaccurate theories.


2. Whiteboard

How else are you supposed to connect clues that may or may not actually be connected?


3. Colored Sticky Notes

Every amateur detective needs a system.

Yellow for clues.

Pink for suspects.

Blue for motives.

Green for people who claim they were home alone all evening and therefore immediately become suspicious.

Will this system actually help solve the murder?

Probably not.

Will it make you feel far more qualified than you are?

Absolutely.


4. Magnifying Glass

Do you need one?

No.

Do you want one?

Absolutely.


5. Coffee

No fictional detective has ever solved a crime while properly hydrated and well-rested.


6. Desk Lamp

Preferably one that makes you feel like you’re interrogating a suspect.

Or reviewing evidence.

Or reading a thriller until 2 a.m.


7. Spy Glasses

No self-respecting amateur detective should be forced to investigate suspicious behavior with ordinary eyewear.

Will spy glasses help you identify the killer?

Almost certainly not.

Will they make you feel dramatically more qualified while staring at a suspect across the room?

Without question.


Final Thoughts

Of course, none of these items will actually help you solve a murder.

They will, however, make you feel significantly more qualified while reading about one.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll spend half the book convinced you’ve cracked the case, only to discover the author was three steps ahead all along.

Honestly, Honey West would probably be disappointed.

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